Who Am I Becoming?

When did confusing something we’ve never done, with the idea to that very things being impossible? At what age do we go from, “I haven’t done that yet, so I’m going to work on it,” to “I can’t do that, I’ve never done that before?” At what point do we become so fixed on who we are, and what we are capable of, that we lose curiosity around who we can become?

I can remember being a young basketball player, and going through the progressions of learning different skills. Lay-ups, jump shots, dribbling behind my back, etc. Everything was new, everything was something I’ve never done before, until it wasn’t Taking into account some physical limitations, everything was possible, and I believed it. I spoke it. All of the skills I was acquiring, were mine, even before I could execute them. My thoughts created passion. That passion lead me to action. Most of my career worked that way. Everything was possible. I lived as “Kate (as I was called), the Division I basketball player,” years before it ever happened. My life, and basketball career, revolved around who I was becoming. If I didn’t shape a future that didn’t currently exist, I’d still be sitting at your local YMCA, wondering how to get a leather sphere to bounce.

Most of the things in life work like basketball did for me. In order to drive a car, you had to believe you could drive a car, even if you’d never done it before. If you wanted to swim, you’d have to believe you could, even though it hadn’t happened yet. The first time you climbed a tree, you had to envision and believe that you could climb a tree, even though you’d never taken action. These are beautiful times of massive growth and development. And then we put on the brakes. Our mindset becomes fixed.


We adopt an “adult mindset”. Or what you think is an “adult mindset.” And most things that you have never done, become impossible. Merely because you declare them so. Most things go from this beautiful world of possibility, action, and effort, to “I can’t do that, I’ve never done that before.” We stop growing and learning and challenging. We become so clear of “who we are,” because we’ve got enough mileage under our belt, to inform us of that. And truthfully, the only question we’re concerned with is, “who am I?” We stop being curious, growing and asking the question, “who do I want to be?”

Let me tell you something, I refuse to stop asking “who do I want to be?” Ever. Period. Because I know, if I can allow the possibility of who I want to be, to hold space in my head, even for a moment, I have an incredible chance of becoming it. I know that if I think it, that somehow I will create feelings around it, and with strong enough feelings I will take action.

I’m not particularly interested in who I am. Moment to moment, I’m growing. So, I’ve got my sights on the future. I’m concerned with who I’m becoming. That’s the conversation I want to be in. So when you see Kat, the author, surfer, public speaker, mom, Ted Talker, and national entrepreneur, tell her I said “hi.”




Brooke Wyman